i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
