I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i now understand why vodka
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
