I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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