there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
