Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Success! We fucked roommates!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
