I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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