I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
