You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
