Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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