Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
