Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
