Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
