My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
