if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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