oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
