we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
