Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Omg I joined a choir last night...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
