dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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