I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
