i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There r osticjed everywhere
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
