Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
