just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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