i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
