my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
