and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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