I can text with my tongue
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
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