their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
