oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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