She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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