he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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