taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
