Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
