I hate all girls vehemently.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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