mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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