pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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