i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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