so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
