If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You took a bar mat shot.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
