you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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