I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
