Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
