OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
