I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
