I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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