by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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