I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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