i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
