I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
