He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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