I CAN MOONWALK!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
