I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
