Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
