i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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