I wannas sexs uuuuu
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
