I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
