and you said cock pushups were impossible
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
