we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
